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Living in Texas

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deletedaccount
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Living in Texas

Post by deletedaccount » Mon Apr 21, 2008 10:38 am

Things I learned living in Texas


1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
7. 'Jaw-P?' means 'Did ya'll go to the bathroom?'
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. 'fixinto' is one word.
10. There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
12. Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'
13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'.
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.
16. 'No. Jew?' is a common response to the question 'Did you bring any beer?'.
17. You measure distance in minutes.
18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
20. You know what a 'DAWG' is.
21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.
22. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.
23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and motorsports.
24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm'.
26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
27. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time know as 'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World'
28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
29. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
30. We don't need no dang driver's ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.
31. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Texas friends and those who just wish they were from Texas.


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angel500
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Post by angel500 » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:31 am

11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.

Actually, this was true growing up in NC. Here in TX I often ask for sweet tea only to find out they have unsweet and you can add stuff at the table. And any true Southerner KNOWS that just doesn't work as all the stuff just falls to the bottom of the glass.

19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

Forgot about those that are Wine Fests and Beer Fests. ;)

Many of those fit for NC too!

redfire500
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Living in Texas

Post by redfire500 » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:41 am

When we lived in central Texas a few years ago I learned the difference between a tank and a pond, and that barbecue was beef, not pork. (and I've never had really good brisket outside of Texas) I also appreciated the many polite drivers who pulled to the shoulder and let you pass.

msgtord
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Post by msgtord » Mon Apr 21, 2008 7:22 pm

About 32 years ago I married a sweetheart from Arizona. The first time I took her to Texas to meet the folks we were driving down a 2 lane road and passed a gentleman outside in the yard. He threw up his hand and waved and I waved back. The wife asked if I knew him and I said nope.

Folks in Texas are just like that. :D

Zeke
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Post by Zeke » Mon Apr 21, 2008 10:53 pm

Why is it that sugar won't dissolve in cold tea?

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angel500
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Post by angel500 » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:00 pm

Zeke wrote:Why is it that sugar won't dissolve in cold tea?
Sugar needs heat to dissolve.

RStabb
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Post by RStabb » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:20 pm

Sounds like a nice State. 8)

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Len_A
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Post by Len_A » Tue Apr 22, 2008 5:01 am

RStabb wrote:Sounds like a nice State. 8)
Definitely a state that the wife & I want to move to, if only we could sell our house in the Detroit 'burbs.
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That which does not kill you, only makes you...stranger.

msgtord
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Post by msgtord » Tue Apr 22, 2008 8:19 am

Definitely a state that the wife & I want to move to, if only we could sell our house in the Detroit 'burbs.
Great state to retire in. No state income tax, and your cost to register a vehicle is much lower than most states.

Zeke
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Post by Zeke » Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:33 am

The best state tax avoidance scheme seems to be residence in Washington (no state income tax) and shopping across the border in Oregon (no state sales tax).

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2008FordTaurus
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Post by 2008FordTaurus » Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:54 pm

Zeke wrote:The best state tax avoidance scheme seems to be residence in Washington (no state income tax) and shopping across the border in Oregon (no state sales tax).
It doesn't work for cars though. I can see why some near the state line do it with sales tax in some areas in the 9%+ range.
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redfire500
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Texans

Post by redfire500 » Tue Apr 22, 2008 3:48 pm

From the Mexia (TX) Daily News...

From our You’re A Texan list, come these two squibs:

You’re a Texan IF you can properly pronounce MEXIA, Corsicana, Nacogdoches, Amarillo, Waco, Waxahachie, Boerne, Burnet, San Antonio, Palestine, Decatur and Wichita Falls;

AND, You’re a Texan IF a tornado warning siren is your signal to go out into the yard and look for a funnel.

deletedaccount
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Post by deletedaccount » Tue Apr 22, 2008 3:59 pm

DOH!! You forgot Bowie: it's pronounced Boo-ee not Bow-ee as in David Bowie. :D :lol:

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